Friday, August 28, 2020

She should be her only she !!





The baffled me in front of the ICU standing in the corridors gazing at the greeny lawn. Drizzles dropping palm leaves ensuring the immediate end of the rain assured me that ' it's over ' yup it was all over the end of the pillar of the family the man who made me stand here. The man who showered love, protection, security, and hope is now roped in the hands of death. A twenty minutes before(August 10,2019 Sunday evening by 4 ) I was in my bed wondering with my mom how we are gonna manage the expense from tomorrow (Monday, August 11, 2019)as my dad's medical expenses were increasing day by day. From Tomorrow ( that was Monday) doctor had confirmed my dad's shift to the isolation ward with new ventilator equipment worth a day penny of 1 lakh. We weren't affluent enough to have a day's expense in lakhs. We were worried about everything my heart yearned for my dad's miracle recovery but the reality thrashed us with the unaffordable never imaginable inevitable expense. Alas, we took up the strength to bear things anyhow. I made a list of items to be mortgaged, sold in my mind. A phone call arrived, it was the ICU nurse who demanded our arrival at the hospital at the earliest. I took all the money in my house. I and my mom with my five months baby managed to run to the hospital at the earliest. On the way, we were discussing regarding the isolation room, we firmly believed dad was gonna be shifted to the isolation room that evening. But asap we entered the ICU the nurse called me in, asking my mom to stay out she told me that my dad was no more and asked me to divulge it to mom. It was an abrupt twist for me. I requested to see my father went near him kissed him started crying with tears rushing through my cheeks reached the corridors. Now standing here recognizing the sweet days with him all his lovely acts on us "OUR family " made me weep more. My mom was inside crying it was her turn now. She came out took the baby with her. She was shouting in agony. Within the fraction of time while she was inside, standing alone with a 5-month-old baby in my hand all I thought was how am I gonna manage all. I am helpless. My husband was in the USA my relatives were all in native my own sister was stuck up in a flood in Kerala she was pregnant too. I was all alone with my over sensitive, timid mom. The drizzles and the lawn were gloomy just like me gloomy to the core that I couldn't manage anything alone. Until that day I thought I was like my mother But it was then when I heard my mom crying out to my sister via phone that we couldn't manage alone and our luck no one was in the hospital as it was a Sunday and not a visiting time too that I realized I was my dad's girl I was grown by a man of strength who fought his MND(Motor Neuron disorder) heroically(But of course it was her(mother) in me strived me not to be so timid in my version at least). I took up his guts arranged the corpse ambulance went to the mortuary alone ordered an icebox for him managed to arrange everything for his funeral ceremony within the arrival of my relatives the next day. This may not sound like something big but being a girl managing the last rituals with a five-month baby in hand and without the help of relatives, neighbors and family gave me the guts to face anything in life. The whole treatment scenario of my dad made me strong like iron. Woman, we have the inbuilt power just strike it right and bring it up. I have struck the chords right for my mom henceforth and now could find a pinch of boldness and independence in her. Ladies you too bring up your guts in all your deeds a woman is truly empowered only when she is independent in her obligations She should be THE only SHE whom she always relies upon.



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